My First Scene

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3 years 2 months ago #851 by mad_hatter
My First Scene was created by mad_hatter
Hi all!

Here's the scene I've been working on. It's from a Friday The 13th parody trailer. It's literally the first thing I've ever animated, and, for a first attempt, I'm quite proud of it. There's no sound yet, and there are a few elements still to be composited in (smoke, etc.). 

Any comments or suggestions to help me improve would be greatly appreciated. 

Be warned, this is a Friday The 13th parody, so as such, it contains some adult content! Anyway, here it is:



(((For anybody that's interested, the dialogue will be "Whoa. That's some good s#!t." and "Dude. You are so stoned.")))

Thoughts? Opinions? Comments? Questions?

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3 years 2 weeks ago #880 by McSteed
Replied by McSteed on topic My First Scene
Fun. The reveal of Jason with DOF is good. Doing your cuts on actions is nice too.

There are a few things that will make it stronger. First is staging and shot flow. You can combine shots 2 and 3. The new shot would be similar to what 3 is now but on the other side so you aren't breaking the 180 rule. It will also simplify the reveal of Jason to being right after the dialog. The cut from 1 to 2 is jarring anyway. It is essentially the same shot from a slightly different angle. See attachment.

Next its weird that jason's is coming from the top of the guy's head when it pushes it down. Although there is plenty of that kind of continuity problems in the real thing so you could argue its an homage.

For the animation a lot of things that you could get better by reading Richard Williams' book. Pick some of the movements on those and do a few (a bunch) practice exercises to learn the principles. For instance Jason should lead his arm raise with his shoulder and elbow with the hand lagging behind a little. Not too much for a character like Jason but enough so he feels fluid. Make sure the hand follows an arc. Right now there is some up and down in its path.

When Jason first turns his head it should turn on 2 axis at the same time. Right now he turns then lowers making it feel a little robotic.

Chris

PS I can get more specific and do notes the way I would at work if you want. It make take a bit to get to it though.
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